I’ve not grown stronger

Once I was fragile.
Now I am broken.

What if…

No, I’m not fanciful.
I’m cruel to myself.
Thinking in the ‘what if’ – pattern makes me sick.

I know I must give up on you.
I maybe had my chance.
Maybe not.
Our paths once crossed but we didn’t make any steps together.
There’s nothing in this universe that connects us –
except that two words – what if?!

When we talk we create a past that we never had.
A past that will never be ours.
We talk in questions but we’re sure that there’s no answer.

You gave my emptiness a name.

When you said you’d protect me,
but became the danger instead
When you promised me a life at your side,
but you didn’t even call back
When you said you’d catch me a star,
but all you came up with were excuses
When you made me dance
in the ashes of my world once again

You gave my emptiness a name.

Beautifully Broken

I saw him when he just passed me.
He was talking but then our eyes met.
They were as blue as the summer sky,but I was thinking of an ocean to drown myself in instead.

It was maybe just a second, or two.
But it felt like time was frozen.
Only a shallow wind stroke my hair,
no sounds disturbed, no one spoke a single word.

I was shivering because his eyes radiated such cold.
His body was covered with scars – like mine.
They tell his story, the story of a broken young man.
And in all his hurt and destruction he was beautiful.

The sight took my breath away.
The shimmer in his eyes, his moves –
He was so beautiful.

His eyes said that he had no plans for the future.
And his body said that he didn’t care either.
And every time he blinked his eyes looked prettier
And a little more sad.