Tag Archives: Help

Speechless

They say some things are written in the stars.
Lately I really question us.
Will we make it?

It’s a cold and starry night.
I’m drenched in tears.
I lift my head and look at the stars above.

Can they predict our future?
Can they tell me that it will be okay again?

Seems like the stars are speechless,
astonished just like me.
How could I ruin us that much?!
Hurt us that much?!
Damage us that much?!

Suddenly I feel so stupid,
Gazing at a sky that has no answers.

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She’s still my mum

We had so many discussions and argument (worst one just a few hours ago).
My bpd ruined our good relationship.
Yesterday I took her to the city (she can’t dirve).
She had good mood and me too, so everything was fine with us.
Two girls (aboub 17 years old, I think) laughed about her, when we passed them.
I saw them grin and whisper. They made fun of her.
I couldn’t help myself. She’s still my mum.
She doesn’t deserve this.

My mum is disabled.
She has polio and can’t walk properly.
She hobbles and limps and the shoes she must wear are clumsy.

At first I just gave them an angry look but then I turned to them.
I feel embarrassing afterwards but I asked them what was so funny.
When they said nothing I became so angry.
I told them that they know nothing about a life within the borders of an illness.
Nothing about the limitations and problems she has.
That they could be happy to look perfectly good.
But it was nature that gave them their appearance and it’s just luck which chances one has.

I am so ashamed now but I know it was right.

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