Tag Archives: Loss

Rows of light

It’s true, isn’t it?
You trembled a bit when you touched me?
I can’t forget about it
Cause it meant something

This is what keeps me awake
This is my pain
Can you feel it?

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I’ll just love you from afar

As all the stars
I only have you
in my imagination.

Van Halen – From Afar

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Day Thirteen

You’re fading
But your smell remains on my bed sheets

You’re fading
But the wind whispers with your voice

You’re fading
But lying on the ground I can feel your heartbeat

You’re fading
But my blood tastes like your breath

You’re fading
But the stars are still the same we looked at

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Empty Fix

Trying to find you
I went through all my memories
But those empty copies lost you
The feeling is gone

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God knows I’m not dying
but I breathe now
God knows
it’s the only way to heal now

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Breathe

I should have kept you in the cage
You wouldn’t have loved me
But you would have stayed

I didn’t care if you wanted to leave
If you only were happy when you are asleep
I was just a bit too sure you’d return back to me

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Poisonous Soil

You were the beauty in me

Now that you’re gone I can’t look at myself
The mirror wants to burst at my sight
I’ve turned gray and ugly and dry and old

My heart is withering
You cut off the roots of beauty in my soul
And poisoned the soil of my fields
No love can grow there any more

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Almost

‘Almost’ is the punishment for all my sins
‘Almost’ is why it didn’t really happen
Weren’t we just one step away from being an us?
Now we’re an almost.
Almost love.

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Maybe next time…

In another life
I would be your girl
We keep all our promises
Be us against the world

(Katy Perry)

He is moving away.
It will take such a huge burden from me.
The moment he leaves,
I’ll be weightless. Free.
I’ll never again see him as an option.

The moment he leaves,
I’ll be breathless.
It will leave me paralyzed.
I’m still waiting for our first kiss.
It will make him better than he could ever be.

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Not like the movies

We were horrible.
We were unhappy.
I was so naive and he was… manipulative.

He knew what he had to tell me.
Strong as I grew, I’d like to turn the tables on him.
I think he’s vulnerable now, manipulable.
I was not save in his arms and now I come back armed.

No, we were not like the movies.
Nothing but our ending.
I never forgot the suffering I was put through
by some girl leading him astray.

However.
It has strengthen me.

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Speechless

They say some things are written in the stars.
Lately I really question us.
Will we make it?

It’s a cold and starry night.
I’m drenched in tears.
I lift my head and look at the stars above.

Can they predict our future?
Can they tell me that it will be okay again?

Seems like the stars are speechless,
astonished just like me.
How could I ruin us that much?!
Hurt us that much?!
Damage us that much?!

Suddenly I feel so stupid,
Gazing at a sky that has no answers.

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Polar Star

For a long time I wasn’t sure about it.
I couldn’t sleep. It kept me awake –
the question what it is that I feel for you.
How do I know that I love someone,
when I never loved or was loved before?

One day it became clear to me.

I knew it when I was sad the second you left.
When the door is slammed shut, I feel empty.

I knew it when I felt lost without you.
You are the star that guides me home.

I knew it when I held my breath during the news.
Every car crash makes me fear it could be you.

I knew it when I gave up the need to do everything on my own.
I let the map sink, I follow my Polar Star.

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Like footprints in the snow

I’m a lonely star in a cold night sky.
Hundreds of miles away from another one.
All of us are isolated.

I had been a girl like so many others.
But I died.
Now I watch you from up here.

The people I loved.
The people I hurt.
The people I proved wrong.

I’m freezing and I hate it.
But I endure it.
It’s cause I know you look up tonight,
thinking how beautiful the stars are.

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…my bad.

8.41 pm
I enter the bar.
It’s a cold and rainy evening.
You’re there.
You wave at me across the room for saying ‘hi’
and later for saying ‘goodbye’.
My bad I don’t dare to walk over to you.
10.27 pm
You leave.
I drink faster.
My bad I don’t run after you to make you stay.
12.59 am
My friends are hungry.
We comb the town for something to eat.
Your fault, I can’t walk properly!
Your fault, I’m sad and angry as hell!
02.14 am
I’m drunk.
I lay back in my chair.
You write me a message:
‘You look beautiful tonight’
Guess you’re also drunk.
And I’m sick.
My bad that I still want you!
You’re a real option, but not a solution.
I want to reach my home port.
I know you’ll never be that! You can’t be that!

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What if…

No, I’m not fanciful.
I’m cruel to myself.
Thinking in the ‘what if’ – pattern makes me sick.

I know I must give up on you.
I maybe had my chance.
Maybe not.
Our paths once crossed but we didn’t make any steps together.
There’s nothing in this universe that connects us –
except that two words – what if?!

When we talk we create a past that we never had.
A past that will never be ours.
We talk in questions but we’re sure that there’s no answer.

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All the pretty things that we could be

All the pretty things that we could be
I don’t want to think about them any longer
Please, make it stop..

I’m trying to dry out
Making a severe detoxification
And there it is:
Your meaningless, little ‘hello’

One single drop touches the tip of my tongue
And the wonderful taste spreads,
ressurects each cell of my body.
And I’m addicted again.

These words will break me,
but you have to hear them.

Stop contacting me.
Never write me again
Never call me again
Never wave at me again –
Just walk on by.

I love you.
Make it stop.

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Like the stars miss the sun in the morning sky

You turn away from me.
You do it for the best.
So you won’t confuse me any longer.
So I can stop thinking of you.
That’s what you said.

How do you think this will work out?

The farther you push me away,
the closer I want you to be.
It’s like you’re the sun in my universe
and if you turn cold, I’ll freeze.
But if you shine, I’ll burn.

I feel pain without you
It’s just as strong and unbearable
as the pain I feel when you’re around.

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You’re precious

You are the kind of person people write songs about
You are the kind of dream I never want to wake up from
You are a free bird. Your heart doesn’t have a home
And I couldn’t hold you even if you loved me
Wouldn’t let you waste your beauty on me
Go travel the world, my dear
Your blue eyes must save so many impressions

Forgive me. Forget me.

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Image

The closer I come, the faster you run.
The more I want you, the more you reject me.
Whenever I’m not interested in you,
you come back to mess up my life.
If I had only one wish, I’d beg God to let me know,
if there will ever be a chance for us.
This insecurity totures me,
it keeps me awake.
Will we find each other once?
Will our time come?

The closer I co…

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