Once I was fragile.
Now I am broken.
Once I was fragile.
Once I was in love with a writer
He wrote me poems
They made me cry
I told him that
He was cofused
His words were never meant to hurt
They were meant to make me happy
Driving in your car
I never never want to go home
Because I haven’t got one anymore
And if a ten-ton-truck kills the both of us
To die by your side
Well, the pleasure, the privilege is mine
You were the beauty in me
Now that you’re gone I can’t look at myself
The mirror wants to burst at my sight
I’ve turned gray and ugly and dry and old
My heart is withering
You cut off the roots of beauty in my soul
And poisoned the soil of my fields
No love can grow there any more
‘Almost’ is the punishment for all my sins
‘Almost’ is why it didn’t really happen
Weren’t we just one step away from being an us?
Now we’re an almost.
I thought you were perfection.
But all you are is a master of deception.
I’ll never be close you you.
They say some things are written in the stars.
Lately I really question us.
Will we make it?
It’s a cold and starry night.
I’m drenched in tears.
I lift my head and look at the stars above.
Can they predict our future?
Can they tell me that it will be okay again?
Seems like the stars are speechless,
astonished just like me.
How could I ruin us that much?!
Hurt us that much?!
Damage us that much?!
Suddenly I feel so stupid,
Gazing at a sky that has no answers.
For a long time I wasn’t sure about it.
I couldn’t sleep. It kept me awake –
the question what it is that I feel for you.
How do I know that I love someone,
when I never loved or was loved before?
One day it became clear to me.
I knew it when I was sad the second you left.
When the door is slammed shut, I feel empty.
I knew it when I felt lost without you.
You are the star that guides me home.
I knew it when I held my breath during the news.
Every car crash makes me fear it could be you.
I knew it when I gave up the need to do everything on my own.
I let the map sink, I follow my Polar Star.
I’m a lonely star in a cold night sky.
Hundreds of miles away from another one.
All of us are isolated.
I had been a girl like so many others.
But I died.
Now I watch you from up here.
The people I loved.
The people I hurt.
The people I proved wrong.
I’m freezing and I hate it.
But I endure it.
It’s cause I know you look up tonight,
thinking how beautiful the stars are.
I enter the bar.
It’s a cold and rainy evening.
You wave at me across the room for saying ‘hi’
and later for saying ‘goodbye’.
My bad I don’t dare to walk over to you.
I drink faster.
My bad I don’t run after you to make you stay.
My friends are hungry.
We comb the town for something to eat.
Your fault, I can’t walk properly!
Your fault, I’m sad and angry as hell!
I lay back in my chair.
You write me a message:
‘You look beautiful tonight’
Guess you’re also drunk.
And I’m sick.
My bad that I still want you!
You’re a real option, but not a solution.
I want to reach my home port.
I know you’ll never be that! You can’t be that!
No, I’m not fanciful.
I’m cruel to myself.
Thinking in the ‘what if’ – pattern makes me sick.
I know I must give up on you.
I maybe had my chance.
Our paths once crossed but we didn’t make any steps together.
There’s nothing in this universe that connects us –
except that two words – what if?!
When we talk we create a past that we never had.
A past that will never be ours.
We talk in questions but we’re sure that there’s no answer.
When we drive
and I seldom do it myself,
I sit on the front passenger’s seat
and I’m all in silence –
then driving is beauty
When we drive
the road is a gray belt
lying in the scenery
able to lead us everywhere –
then the road is beauty
When we drive
we pass meadows and woods
and each millimetre of the landscape holds lives,
plants and animals
and in each car is life and a human who’s beautiful –
and the whole setting is beauty
When we drive
and it’s dark, I love to pass cities and villages
I regard the sparkling lights
and behind every of these lights
there is a heart that beats –
and the city-lights are beauty
I then I ask myself
how can I be so sad
surrounded by a world
that’s so beautiful
And when I drive
I would like to disappear
and clear away into one of these lights
Be part of the beauty.
All the pretty things that we could be
I don’t want to think about them any longer
Please, make it stop..
I’m trying to dry out
Making a severe detoxification
And there it is:
Your meaningless, little ‘hello’
One single drop touches the tip of my tongue
And the wonderful taste spreads,
ressurects each cell of my body.
And I’m addicted again.
These words will break me,
but you have to hear them.
Stop contacting me.
Never write me again
Never call me again
Never wave at me again –
Just walk on by.
I love you.
Make it stop.
You turn away from me.
You do it for the best.
So you won’t confuse me any longer.
So I can stop thinking of you.
That’s what you said.
How do you think this will work out?
The farther you push me away,
the closer I want you to be.
It’s like you’re the sun in my universe
and if you turn cold, I’ll freeze.
But if you shine, I’ll burn.
I feel pain without you
It’s just as strong and unbearable
as the pain I feel when you’re around.
You are the kind of person people write songs about
You are the kind of dream I never want to wake up from
You are a free bird. Your heart doesn’t have a home
And I couldn’t hold you even if you loved me
Wouldn’t let you waste your beauty on me
Go travel the world, my dear
Your blue eyes must save so many impressions
Forgive me. Forget me.
Stay, my love
Don’t you want to wait until this sunset is over?
Don’t you want to look at the stars with me?
We could be covered by a beautiful silence
It’s cold and the sky will be clear tonight
The only warmth would be the spot
where the palms of our hands touched
Just like that one night in November
Do you think of it sometimes?
Well, I do.
I remember it whenever I look into your eyes
I can still see the reflection of the marketsquare in them
And I still feel the cobblestone beneath my feet
I think of it when I look at the stars
It was a starlit night too, wasn’t it?
Stay with me, love
I want to make so much more memories.
When you said you’d protect me,
but became the danger instead
When you promised me a life at your side,
but you didn’t even call back
When you said you’d catch me a star,
but all you came up with were excuses
When you made me dance
in the ashes of my world once again
You gave my emptiness a name.
I’ve learned love is like a brick.
You can build a house or sink a dead body.
-Lady Gaga, Judas
Unfortunately, it feels more like sinking a dead body the last days.
Something erodes me and I can’t point the finger on it.
He gave me a key to the house of his parents and somehow it was cursed.
I feel bad since I have it. It lies in my pocket heavy like a stone.
I regarded it carefully but there’s nothing wrong with it.
I don’t want a key.
I want to move out.
I want a home.
The closer I come, the faster you run.
The more I want you, the more you reject me.
Whenever I’m not interested in you,
you come back to mess up my life.
If I had only one wish, I’d beg God to let me know,
if there will ever be a chance for us.
This insecurity totures me,
it keeps me awake.
Will we find each other once?
Will our time come?