Take me to the point of no return

When we lay there
and held our breaths
our bodies shivering
I knew you were a mistake
I needed to make

I knew you would burn me
I knew you would dump me
Please go ahead, do it
Take me there
To the point of no return

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Stand by me, Lord

To do things
Instead of talking about them
This will be my very last chance

One day I won’t leave the train at my station
One day I will stand in front of your door
This will be my very last chance

I hope something will give me the courage
I hope I won’t have to go on alone
There will be no next chance if I ruin this one

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Rows of light

It’s true, isn’t it?
You trembled a bit when you touched me?
I can’t forget about it
Cause it meant something

This is what keeps me awake
This is my pain
Can you feel it?

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The Writer

Once I was in love with a writer
He wrote me poems
They made me cry

I told him that
He was cofused

His words were never meant to hurt
They were meant to make me happy

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I’ll just love you from afar

As all the stars
I only have you
in my imagination.

Van Halen – From Afar

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Day Thirteen

You’re fading
But your smell remains on my bed sheets

You’re fading
But the wind whispers with your voice

You’re fading
But lying on the ground I can feel your heartbeat

You’re fading
But my blood tastes like your breath

You’re fading
But the stars are still the same we looked at

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Empty Fix

Trying to find you
I went through all my memories
But those empty copies lost you
The feeling is gone

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God knows I’m not dying
but I breathe now
God knows
it’s the only way to heal now

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You’re unfair and I’m so dumb

It’s your project
To put me on a pedestal
So next time you kick me down
It will challenge you
To build me up again

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Infect me

Ruin me
I’m so drawn by your darkness
Pull me down
I want to feel your despair
Waste me
Make me feel as numb as you are
Kiss me
I need to taste your salty skin
Infect me
I just love this dream you’re in
Revive me
Cure me from your emptiness

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A Light That Never Goes Out

Driving in your car

I never never want to go home

Because I haven’t got one anymore

And if a ten-ton-truck kills the both of us

To die by your side

Well, the pleasure, the privilege is mine


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I should have kept you in the cage
You wouldn’t have loved me
But you would have stayed

I didn’t care if you wanted to leave
If you only were happy when you are asleep
I was just a bit too sure you’d return back to me

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Poisonous Soil

You were the beauty in me

Now that you’re gone I can’t look at myself
The mirror wants to burst at my sight
I’ve turned gray and ugly and dry and old

My heart is withering
You cut off the roots of beauty in my soul
And poisoned the soil of my fields
No love can grow there any more

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‘Almost’ is the punishment for all my sins
‘Almost’ is why it didn’t really happen
Weren’t we just one step away from being an us?
Now we’re an almost.
Almost love.

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I thought you were perfection.
But all you are is a master of deception.

I’ll never be close you you.

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Make It Count

Every day will make you older
So, no matter what you do –
make it count.

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Maybe next time…

In another life
I would be your girl
We keep all our promises
Be us against the world

(Katy Perry)

He is moving away.
It will take such a huge burden from me.
The moment he leaves,
I’ll be weightless. Free.
I’ll never again see him as an option.

The moment he leaves,
I’ll be breathless.
It will leave me paralyzed.
I’m still waiting for our first kiss.
It will make him better than he could ever be.

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Not like the movies

We were horrible.
We were unhappy.
I was so naive and he was… manipulative.

He knew what he had to tell me.
Strong as I grew, I’d like to turn the tables on him.
I think he’s vulnerable now, manipulable.
I was not save in his arms and now I come back armed.

No, we were not like the movies.
Nothing but our ending.
I never forgot the suffering I was put through
by some girl leading him astray.

It has strengthen me.

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If I had stayed with you…

This ex-boyfriend of me that always drove me mad with fear
and anger and the disgusting feeling of being cheated,
he appeared last night in my dream.

He really deserved his prefix when it was finally over.
He was so damn stuck in self-injury. Worse than I was.
It scared the hell out of me.

And then that dream last night.
I checked his page today and just found out that he became father.
A 20-years-old unemployed father.

I drifted of in the imagination of me being mother.
I could be that girl with the baby, if I had stayed with him.
I could be the girl still waking up to bloodstained bed sheets.
Still living with the fear that everytime I leave for work,
it would be the last ‘goodbye’ he gives me.
I couldn’t bear that back then and I couldn’t bear that now.

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